It finds its hemlock homes of today much more suitable.Ĭox relates an amusing anecdote of an attempt to capture the creature in his book … Between the squonk’s limited cognitive abilities, and the fact that it only evolved webbing on its left feet, it found itself unable to swim, merely going in circles when it tried to enter the water. The ancient distribution of the squonk was thought to be much wider, but as the high plains where it roamed gradually turned into swamps, it was forced to try to adapt to water. They make their home in these hemlocks, and are active only during the twilight hours, returning to their hemlocks before moonrise, where they can avoid catching a glimpse of their reflection in a moonlit pool, an event that will often bring the squonk to tears. Records of the squonk mainly come from the hemlock forests of Pennsylvania. The squonk is not without its defenses though, as when surprised or frightened, it can dissolve itself into a puddle of tears to escape capture. Cox corroborates this, noting that hunters are often able to follow the squonk by its tear-stained trail, and Tryon notes that these squonk hunts are best performed by moonlight. Tryon notes that “He is given to constant weeping over his really upsetting appearance, and can sometimes be tracked by his tear-stained trail”. This melancholy extends beyond its appearance, and it is said that the poor animal weeps constantly. According to Cox, “Because of its misfitting skin, which is covered with warts and moles, it is always unhappy in fact it is said, by people who are best able to judge, to be the most morbid of beasts”. Taken together, their descriptions and accompanying lithographs paint a picture of a morose dog-pig hybrid, hairless and weeping, and covered with warts and moles. Much of our information on the squonk comes from two volumes on Appalachian and upper-midwestern lumberlore, Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, With a Few Desert and Mountain Beasts by William T.
The squonk, or Lacrimacorpus dissolvens, is noted as “Probably the homeliest animal in the world, and knows it”. Audio version of this story on our YouTube: this can also be found Spotify and most other podcast platforms!
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